I don't think anything could've prepared me for these last few days and for what lies ahead in the next two or three weeks. I just can't even describe how tired I am. Jet lag, plus a baby who is consistently waking up before 5 AM, plus a 19-month-old who is wanting equal time with me equals extreme exhaustion. Abby Kate has regressed since we've gotten home. She's not the usual happy child we saw towards the end of our time in China. I'm assuming this is due to jet lag. She's not really taking naps (today was about 20 minutes total). The clinging has returned, too. I have to be touching her in some way almost all day for her to be ok. After talking to our adoption agent today, though, I found out we should be very thankful. Tina said most children don't sleep through the night when they return. Her own daughter didn't sleep through for 2 years! So even though we're getting up before the roosters, we are getting straight sleep that's better than expected. Thank you Lord for that! She also told me that the regression is normal, to be patient, and watch it pass in the next 1-3 weeks. I hope it's quick, but in the mean time, I'll be praying for that patience.
I think it's funny that my original post today was going to be about my favorite things from today--the little moments that I didn't want to forget. Why in the world did I think I would remember anything on my very jet-lagged, sleep-deprived brain? :) I do remember one thing though. Probably because it's only been an hour and a half since it happened, but nonetheless, I remember. About 5:00 tonight, I hit my wall--that place where you're so tired you can't even speak. I sat beside Abby Kate on the floor, leaned up against the wall, and shut my eyes. Of course, I immediately started to doze off. Next thing I knew, Hannah Grace was covering me with a blanket. Then she brought me a pillow to go behind my back and her bunny for me to hold. I muttered out a thank you to the sounds of old-school R&B that HG put on for "mood music". Then my sweetest son came to me and kissed me on the cheek. Unprovoked. Yes, I cried. It's easy for me to do that these days, but that was one of the sweetest moments ever. I feel, at times, like I may not make it through these next weeks. But the Lord gives me those moments to remind me that I will not just make it through, but I'll make it with the rewards of sweet memories with three of the most precious children on the planet.
